Love on the Internet Super Highway

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of my marriage to my husband. It's been a wonderful year; we have really learned to work together as a team. I am certain I've married the most beautiful human being on earth.

We met on the Internet, on Match.com.

I don't know why I am STILL embarrassed to say this. I made a great decision, and he made a great decision in writing me in the first place. We knew right away that we were meant for each other- minutes after we met face to face, we both recall a peace, affirming a feeling in our hearts. But for some reason, I still feel a wincing stigma attached to meeting someone online.

Our story is interesting. I was on both eharmony.com and Match.com for about a year and a half. I can't say I was really enthused about it; somehow I felt like I had failed to meet someone without "help." I'm also not the kind of person to sit back and let life happen, so I signed up for both. I went on a lot of first dates, and a small number of connections I made worked out into short mini-relationships lasting a month or a month and a half.

I'll admit that I also was online for a little ego trip. I'd log on, and there would, most of the time, be a few emails from interested men. Even if they were completely the opposite of who I was looking for, it was nice to get the attention without feeling harrassed. One guy emailed a picture of himself in a t-shirt depicting a deer, holding a gun, and occasional teeth smile stating that it "seamed lik we gots alot in comon." One guy said he liked teachers because they "get paid a ton, always wear a dress to work, and get summers off." One guy also assured me that he, "new how to treet a ladie." I'm sure these men were nice and probably were great in person, I just got more and more bitter as I continued. So much of online dating depends on a strong first impression, and if I was going to be aware of it in my emails and ad, I wanted the same respect.

Needless to say, I got a little tired of that kind of attention. I pulled my ads off both sites, and moved on with my life. I became extremely busy, and didn't really think much about dating. Then, one night during a particularly romantic episode of The West Wing, I caved and put my ad back up on Match.com. My loneliness had gotten the best of me. I drank a glass of wine and turned in, feeling sorry for myself.

The next morning, Thursday, I slipped back into my needy desire for acknowledgement, and I checked my email. A very attractive man had written to me (my future husband), and mentioned we had quite a bit in common. It was true: everything from careers in education to ages and birth order of siblings. I won't bore anyone with the specifics, but I was really intrigued and wrote back right away. We fervently exchanged emails over the next two days. We both have brothers with the same, and we both are the eldest, our youngest siblings are about 12 years behind each of us. We both come from parents who are educators, and we’ve both chosen to be educators. We lived 1.6 miles apart, which is the same distance his parents lived apart when they met. We’re both Geminis. He loved my handle: MuppetGirl27. And he really liked my smile.

He wasn’t my type. He was average height, medium build, and did not have a college degree. I usually went for tall, lanky, intellectual types. I was not his type. He liked Asian women, and usually women who were big into the outdoors. My blonde hair and blue eyes obviously defeats the Asian deal, and I like “luxury camping.” Somehow, though, we really wanted to connect as soon as possible.

We agreed to meet on Saturday night. I gave him my phone number, we met at a supper club/bar, and two days later, agreed to be exclusive. I need to interject here and mention that I would never encourage anyone to do what I did at the speed at which I did it. I should never have given out my phone number, and I should not have met someone so quickly. In fact, as it was all happening I would shake my head to myself (“this is not me….this is not me…”) and went on several “how to spot a con” websites.

I’m just so lucky that he turned out to be a genuine, uncomplicated and caring man who wouldn’t hurt a fly. Almost 6 months later, we were engaged, and we married a year ago this weekend. I’ve never been happier.

I think the reason we “work” now, especially considering our beginnings, is that we didn’t rely on email or chat rooms to communicate or express ourselves; our conversations, intimate and otherwise, take place in person. The stigma that surrounds Internet romance often comes from the experiences of never meeting face to face, and communication across distances too far to regularly travel. We are blessed to be able to talk about issues – both difficult and joyful.

I want everyone to experience the bliss we’ve been given. I just have to believe that when two people are meant to connect, personally or electronically, they will. Beauty comes in all forms, and in this day and age, we need to accept that it may blossom through the computer monitors of the world.