February is for the birds.

I wrote this in February- and never published it. So here it is.

"Never make any life decisions in February."

This is the mantra in my school building this week. It's amazing what happens to people during this month- kind, interesting and generally respectful people turn irritable and mean. I include myself in this; although I try hard to monitor my general outlook and demeanor, I know I am not always kind. But I rarely turn surly on purpose.

But I do know that I tend to be on the introspective side- constantly questioning what the right thing to do might be. I usually err on the side of caution because I don't want to offend or put off anyone. What blows my mind is that other people do not have that consideration- at all.

For one reason or another, it seems that people like to air their grievances no matter what the situation or the people involved. Some people feel entitled to be jerks, no matter what is at stake. They just come right out and say it, and too bad if they leave a big poopy mess in their wake. It is their right and so they assert themselves, and the rest of you be damned. "I will not apologize for the way I feel." Every once in a while there is an apology- for the same behavior as the last twenty times- only to toy with our trust and forgiveness, because the same behavior will happen again. And again. And again. And each time, we will be hurt. And the cycle continues.

What is it in us that holds back, out of politeness and concern for others? Worse yet, what is it in us to ensure that we "get to" say what we want, as long as we feel what we feel? Surely we're born with a certain level of each, but our emotions demand that we blurt out whatever and whenever we want? When is it inappropriate to share? When should we shut up?

I don't know. What I can say is that I wish the societal rules were a little more clear. We should all be able to express ourselves, and maintain our respect for others in our "circle."